"Tis the Season of Grieving"

With the holiday season here upon us, amongst all the celebrating and warm wishes, we must remember that not everyone is filled with holiday cheer and are having a holly jolly good time. By this I don’t mean that we have a Scrooge on our hands, who instead of wishing everyone a happy holiday is going around shouting bah humbug while wearing an unpleasant scowl across their face but rather people who are hurting inside and can’t bring themselves to open up about it out of fear of ridicule and/or judgment by their peers.

This world makes people feel bad about expressing their feelings, that something is wrong with them if they are not of the same mindset as the masses and that unfortunately is the reason why most avoid being transparent. Because of this they keep their true identify hidden and I don’t mean one of superpowers and superior crime fighting abilities but more so one of overwhelming sorrow and soul shattering pain, their own personal mental war.

No matter who is around them and/or what gift they unwrap the anguish that burns inside of them will not simmer, if anything it burns hotter and more out of control during this time of year. For most it is hard to believe that during times of such happiness that someone could be suffering so, but this is reality and a truly dangerous one at that. They are a ticking time bomb waiting to go off and without someone to cut the correct wire they will someday explode, leaving nothing more than a memory and a trail of broken hearts and tortured souls with so many unanswered questions and regrets.

So act now, show the people in your life how much they mean to you while they are still here to appreciate it; don’t wait until they are six feet under and you are left talking to a tombstone. Be aware of the body language, pay attention to the subtle clues and most importantly don't be afraid to get involved and if necessary help them find professional help. Sometimes a shoulder to lean on and an open ear could do wonders for someone’s mental state, it could be the best gift they received all year and in some cases even a lifesaving one.

Also these individuals can be anyone from anonymous stranger, someone you may see on a regular basis but not give much thought to, or even a friend or family member, you just never know. This problem is not exclusive to one group or another, so don’t believe that this couldn’t happen to you or your friends/family because doing so would be completely foolish and possibly have devastating consequences.

While you're thinking of what you want for Christmas there are others who are fighting with thoughts of suicide. Look after each other this holiday season and don't risk getting the gift you always wanted but losing the person you forever loved. This holiday season encourage your loved ones to have anything but a "silent night", encourage them to share their feelings and to let you know if there are any problems they are experiencing emotionally, mentally and/or physically. Don't just go through the motions, truly love.

Our brothers and sisters are hurting and as we worry about what gifts to buy each other and who’s bringing what to the family dinner they are searching for a reason to continue on. We don't need to be visited by three spirits to know something has to change, be like the Grinch and let your heart grow three sizes this holiday season, trust me the world will be a better place because of it. 

MJM

“Why?”

When were younger we questioned everything, even the simplest things, but then we get older and we stop, we just accept everything as truth, which is very unfortunate to say the least.

We must not lose that child-like mind, we must continue to question the information that is given to us, and not just allow others to spoon feed it to us with our eyes tightly closed, which in turn leaves our minds vulnerable to attacks and misguidance.

This is ever so important when you are dealing with people of faith, and not because they are all bad and/or looking to cause problems in your life, but because you don’t want to be fooled by false prophets and led astray.

We are not to take the whole ”sheep” metaphor literally, God wants us to learn and evolve in our faith, he doesn’t want us to be mindless sheep who just take everything that is told to them as gospel and create their lives around it.

He wouldn’t have blessed us with a brain if he didn’t want us to use it, to think for ourselves, to research and investigate what is being told to us and not just accept it as fact.

I know it’s scary to question authority, especially if it comes in the form of your pastor with a whole congregation backing them up, but for your spiritual health and well-being it is something that totally needs to be done, it is a necessity.

Don’t be afraid to ask why, to question what is being told to you, because no matter who is preaching it or what book it’s written in nothing is completely foolproof, especially when man is involved.

Your goal should not to be a spiritual zombie, someone who walks around without a thought in their head and a mentality only to blindly feed on the flesh that everyone else is eating.

You should strive to be much more, an individual who thinks for themselves and truly understands what they are eating and more importantly, why they are eating it.

Break free from the flock, educate yourself properly so that you can better understand why things are the way they are and what it means to truly be a man/woman of faith.

There’s nothing wrong with being a follower of one religion or another, or not following any at all, just make sure that you are doing so with open eyes and because of a decision that was made with an educated mindset and not because someone else told you to.

I am not trying to get you to debunk your faith, to make you doubt everything you’ve been taught and to make you cynical, but rather to help you become stronger spiritually and to see things how they truly are and not just as you were told to view them.

Be who you are, live your life as you feel fit, just make sure you’re aware of why it is you’re taking the steps you’re taking, because if you walk blindly through life you run the risk you seriously hurting yourself and/or others around you.

Know why you’re doing it, don’t be afraid to speak up and go against the grain, because even if man shuns you, God never will.

MJM

“In Your Face”

A person’s faith, or lack thereof, is a personal choice and should be treated as such.

Religion is a tool for our benefit, to help us live a better life and for spiritual enlightenment and mental growth.

To give us strength, purpose and inner peace in this overly cruel and uncompassionate world of ours, a crutch if you will, to aid us and to assist our weary legs on the difficult journey that we have ahead of us.

It is not meant to be a gavel and a shovel, we are not to judge and condemn others just because they believe differently than we do, that is not what it’s all about and to believe otherwise is completely foolish.

Many people treat religion as a deed restricted community, they believe their yard is where it should be, bright green and well maintained on the surface but underneath the roots are dying and brittle, but they still feel it necessary to go around and point out all the yards that are less than perfect.

When it comes to religion, this is one time where that the old adage “if you didn't bring enough for everyone you shouldn't have brought any at all” doesn’t hold true, feel free to be as stingy as you like and to keep it all for yourself, trust me I don’t think anyone will mind.

It is vitally important to remember that our faith should not be used as a weapon; a means of attacking others who do not share our beliefs with the hopes of browbeating them into submission and making them more like us.

Avoid the spiritual beat downs, the faith brutalities, at all costs because they do no one any good and ultimately do more harm for our cause then they do anything positive.

An outreached hand does more good than a clenched up fist, live and let live, love and show compassion towards others and their way of life and you’d be pleasantly surprised by the outcome.

Actions speak louder than words; you can sometimes say more with your mouth closed than you can with it open.

When you go around spreading hate like fertilizer (which is exactly what it is) and judging others as if your name was Judy, then that's what you'll get back.

There’s no problem with discussing your faith with others if and when the topic presents itself, but don’t go around trying to force feed it to them, because the end result will not be a pretty one.

When you’re trying to bring people to your cause or to your vision you must lead by example, not by force, you catch more flies with honey than you do with a flyswatter, so think before you act.

MJM

”Suicide”

“The good, the bad and the ugly: The truths about suicide from the man inside.”

For this piece I am stepping out from behind the clown mask. I am hoping to do more here than share a laugh or deliver an opinion piece. I am putting humor aside to talk about something very important; about something that is affecting many people in this world of ours and has been for many ticks of the clock. The young and old, the rich and poor, the black and white, none of it matters because this monster doesn’t discriminate, anyone can be a victim.

I want to talk about suicide. I want to share my personal battle with it and how at one time I thought it was the only way out. I thought it was the only way to silence the demons that were relentlessly attacking and poisoning my soul with never-ending self-doubt and vicious lies about my reality, every day trying to destroy the foundation that was my life.

I hope to show others in a similar situation that when they feel they are at their lowest and at their breaking point, they are not alone and that there is help available. There are ways to relieve the weight that burdens your shoulders, but it’s not in a drug or drink, nor is it with you lying on your back six feet under with a face full of dirt.

Suicide stalks its prey like a highly skilled assassin, ever so silently and with deadly precision, and if you're not cautious, you or a loved one could be its next target.

“Just because someone is smiling on the outside, doesn’t mean they aren't hurting on the inside.”

Part 1: Understanding Better and Avoiding Misconceptions

“Completing the puzzle”

There are many “urban legends”, many stigmas and many untruths about suicide and mental health in general. Here are a few, yet inaccurate, outlooks that most people have when this topic comes up.

Crazy…

People think you are crazy, deranged and even dangerous.  People who are suicidal are not crazy! You will not find them talking to themselves, eating their checkers or in a padded room wearing a straitjacket, it is actually quite the opposite. They are smart, funny and dedicated. They are creative, successful and honest. I know this is sounding like a personal ad, but it’s the truth. They are just like everyone else, only difference is that they are fighting a war inside themselves and they are desperate for a truce.

This war can be started many ways, there is no “one size fits all” here. Don’t perform an autopsy on someone’s life to figure out what caused the friction; just understand that something is array and making a mess of their life. Also, when the culprit of the chaos is reveled, whether it is in confidence or stumbled upon, don’t belittle, judge and/or pile on, regardless of your thoughts on the issue. What may not seem like a big deal to you could crush someone else, even pushing them further down death row.

Attention Seeker…

You are just looking for attention. You’re throwing a pity party and you’re the guest of honor. You know that you’re not to be negative, your glass is always supposed to be "half full" because that’s the politically correct way to think. You’re not to fall down and stay down, you’re to pick yourself up and have a feel-good “Rocky” moment where you kick ass and take names. Anything else makes you inferior to the masses, or at least that’s how you’re told to see it. Sometimes a motivational poster (hang in there kitty), a clever metaphor or even powerful speech just aren’t enough to help one make it through the dark forest they are trying to escape, the big bad wolf is just too powerful of an adversary.

Glutton for Punishment…

You’re doing it to yourself, the problem isn’t all that serious and you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. We all know the expression, "don't judge a book by its cover". The reason we shouldn’t is that until we read the pages of that said book we don't really know what it’s about. Those pages may comprise unspeakable horrors, soul crushing pain and severe hardships. The cover may be all rainbows and unicorns and the pages dark and depressing, and you'll never know unless you move past what's on the surface. Don’t discount someone due to superficial reasons; if you do, it could lead to dire consequences.

That’s just Life…

We all face anxiety/depression regularly, you need to toughen up and learn to deal with it. There are some who don’t believe depression is real, that it’s something made up like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny and they have no problem voicing their misinformed opinion regardless of who is in earshot. Trust me it’s real and very dangerous, and not something to be taken lightly. Think before you speak because the words that come out of your mouth may be why someone can’t/won’t open up to you and potentially the reason they feel they have no hope. Sticks and stones will break bones, but no matter what they say, words can, and will hurt you too. Poorly chosen words can fall like salt into an exposed wound to someone who is hurting internally, and you will do yourself a great service to remember that.

“Don’t assume that others know how you feel about them, make it known.”

Time…

The adage, "time heals all wounds" may be true for some, but it is not true for everyone. We’re not all the same and you’d be wise to remember that. To quote the Diff'rent Strokes theme song, "Now, the world don't move to the beat of just one drum, what might be right for you, may not be right for some". More accurate words have never been spoken, and if someone tells you otherwise, let them have a, "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis”?

No one may tell you how long you should, or shouldn't grieve, regardless of the circumstances. Some personalities stew over their plights; it’s just how they were made. They let them slowly cook like a meal in a crock-pot and by doing this; their internal temperature rises and things eventually boil over leaving nothing more than a hot mess. Without help and/or a healthy way to release this pressure these individuals could find themselves in dire straits. The aforementioned “time” that is supposed to heal all wounds becomes a catalyst for disaster and ends up doing more harm than good. Moral of the story, don’t assume that the way you handle stress is the only and proper way of doing so, because those assumptions could be very costly to you in the end.

Who has it Worst…

“There’s always someone who has it worse” is a statement I have heard thrown around many times as an attempt to “help” someone realize that their burden isn’t all that bad in the grand scheme of things. Now this may well be the case and to some this may even be helpful advice, but to those with depression this knowledge does little to ease the anguish that haunts their spirit, it diminishes their pain and adds more fuel to the already raging fires. Be mindful with what you say and to whom you say it to because your attempt to help may cause your outstretched hand becoming a clinched fist.

Weakness…

For those of you who think suicide is a sign of weakness, something that only a coward would do and/or something that only affects the most desolate of people, you've got a lot to learn. I am thankful that you've never had to endure the deadly sting that is depression and hopefully you never will. Don’t be foolish, because trust me this can happen to anyone, no matter who you are and/or where you are at in your life.

Selfish…

Some also say suicide is selfish, which may well be the case to those who’ve lost, but when someone feels lonely and abandoned who exactly are they being selfish to; at least that’s how they see it. Consider this, in their mind your loss is their gain, makes sense? This is not about selfishness, it’s about desperation.

The list goes on. There are many of these beliefs floating around in our society, whether by fear or just pure ignorance, it doesn’t matter because if we allow these fallacies to remain unchecked and unchallenged we will find ourselves at more funerals than we are at celebrations.

“For those who are depressed a smile is a scar, an unfortunate blemish on their body for the world to see but something they are ashamed of, it makes for pretty wrapping on the present hoping to hide the contents.”

Part 2: Suicidal

“When the wrong feels right”

"God, should I come home now?” is a question I have asked myself many times before, and I’m sure I’m not alone.

We’ve all had times where we felt as if the world was against us. As if everyone was screaming our name, and not like an adoring fan would scream the name of their favorite rockstar, but rather like the way a bloodthirsty mob would scream for your head as you were about to be hung. All you want to do is run and hide, but no matter where you go the voices just won’t stop. A silence so loud that it is deafening, speaks to you in a whispers and keeps you questioning your own existence.

On the outside it is bright and sunny. No one could tell from looking at you that something was wrong. However, on the inside it is dark and gloomy, your mental state is not well and your life is on the edge of devastation. You don’t know what to do. You’re like that whimsical cookie jar that sits on the counter, on the surface you seem all together, complete and even at times upbeat. Although the truth of it is that on the inside you are emotionally disheveled, scattered and spiritually broken into little pieces.

You’re like a plane flying into a storm but reporting back to the tower that all is well, nothing but blue skies and clear sailing, when the truth of it is, that the whole flight has been nothing but turbulence. You want so badly to shout out to the world how tortured you are, but at the same time you don’t want to be perceived as weak and/or any less of a person by doing so, and as a result you hold it all in. Because of this decision the pain stews inside of you, making a mess of things both emotionally and mentally, leaving you a total wreck, spiritually shattered and intoxicated by misery and despair.

“Walking a fine line…the razor’s edge”

You're not Goldie Hawn, Bruce Willis, or Meryl Streep but "death becomes you". Your reason for being is only to find a way to end it all; sadly your life is all about death. You dream of dying like most people dream of living. You want to be alone but you don't want to be lonely. While most people are anticipating opening night, you're planning your curtain call. The monster you once feared as a child who hid in the darkness, now resides in your head and doesn’t disappear when the lights are turned on. While most are aggressively waiving their battle flag, you’re flying the white flag. Sadness surrounds you like a cocoon, and unfortunately doesn’t open to reveal a beautiful butterfly but rather a beaten, withered and tattered soul.

How can you stop the sadness? How can you find peace? Is there a way out or are you destined to go through life depressed and constantly fighting for the happiness and comfort that seems to come so easily to those around you? You contemplate suicide. You start thinking that with your dying breath the pain will cease and you will be comfortably at rest and in your own skin.

Your absence wouldn’t matter to anyone because they didn’t care when you were alive so why in death would things be any different? What would be the right time? How would you do it? Should you leave a note? These are just some things that cross your mind as you think about moving forward with your ill-fated plan, as you consider the best way to execute your personal mission for mental stability and closure on the agony that is your being.

You can’t believe your loved ones don’t notice that something isn’t right with you. They aren’t aware that your life is in shambles and that you do not understand how to fix it. This makes you feel damaged, lonely and desperate for a way out.

Yet you put on an Oscar worthy performance to make sure people don’t find out what’s going on. Doing all you can to put your best foot forward to keep your deadly secret hidden within the confines of your soul. You are torn, you feel as if all the clues are there to help them solve the unfortunate case that is your life, but in all reality you have orchestrated a crime so masterfully that even CSI couldn’t solve it. This is absolutely a no-win situation and cannot end well for anyone involved.

Being suicidal isn't about wanting to die, it's about being afraid to live.

“Admitting that you need help isn’t a sign of weakness, actually it shows tremendous strength, especially when holding it in could mean death.”

Part 3: Proceed with Caution: See the Forest through the Trees

“Living with untreated depression is like taking permanent residence on death row”

Life is hard and unforgiving and if you let your guard down for too long it will swallow you up and drag you down to the depths of hell. I know it’s not all doom and gloom, but the truth of the matter is this, life is not all that kind and will tear you apart if you don’t prepare accordingly.

Your mind is extremely powerful, and at the same time very dangerous, especially if you have not trained it correctly. Reinforce the barriers that protect your weak spots, train your mind to follow your lead, instead of it being the other way around. We must be strong and steadfast in the face of depression, so when these situations arise we can conquer them and do so in a healthy and productive manner. If you’re not careful, your mind will bully you and beat you down, leaving you for dead…literally. You could be your own best friend or your own worst enemy, completely depending on your overall mental health.

When battling depression you become a hostage to your own psyche, which if not treated properly acts as the judge, the jury and the executioner of your being. It is a menacing adversary who will do any and everything within its power to have you succumb to its will. This is not a war you want to fight alone because you won’t stand a chance, call in for backup!

From the birth certificate to the obituaries, life can be a cruel mistress. Whether it is that tasty treat you can’t have until you finish your icky dinner, or something more adult oriented like the loss of a job and/or bills piling up faster than you can knock them down. I’m sure you’ve heard this many times before; life is not fair and doesn’t play nice. The game is difficult, but totally worth playing, so put your game face on and play to win!

“Remember, sometimes a crowd is the loneliest place of all.”

You may not be the one who is battling with depression and/or with the thoughts of suicide, but someone you know may just be, so keep a watchful eye out for the warning signs and don’t be afraid to act if necessary. As I said prior, due to an unfortunate stigma in this country when it comes to mental health most people are ashamed to speak up out of fear of ridicule and/or being considered weak. Bottom line, they will not come to you, you have to go to them.

Sometimes your perception of things is askew, things aren't always how they appear. With that said, do your loved ones a favor and pay attention, take nothing for granted because by the time you realize there’s a problem it could already be too late.

We classify many conditions and addictions as diseases in this country, which I can only assume is to make people feel better about overindulging, physically, mentally and of course financially. However, for depression we dare not speak of it in public out of fear of being labeled crazy, insane or mentally challenged in one way or another, hence the reason we have such a problem with suicide in our country. This fact completely amazes and leaves me scratching my head in utter confusion. This has to change if we truly ever hope to rectify the issue at hand.

We ask each other, “How are you” but we don’t want to know, we only do so to be perceived as caring individuals, of course not all but most for sure. God forbid they actually tell us their troubles because then they are considered complainers and in our busy lives and hectic schedules we don’t have time for that.

We are programmed to act concerned and compassionate to our fellow humans because it’s the right thing to do, but the truth of it is that we don’t want to be bothered. With the social stigma that already comes attached to depression, this way of being only makes it more complicated and risky for someone to feel comfortable enough to open up and honestly share what hinders them with us. We need to be there for each other and stop trying to hide from each other!

“Depression is the fire and playing with it will get you burnt.”

Part 4: Coping

“The living dead”

This section is not about mindless zombies who crave brains like some of us crave chocolate, but instead the individual left behind after the person he/she cares about commits suicide. Their life becomes an out of control emotional rollercoaster filled with many “what ifs” and “whys”. Nothing makes sense anymore and they are as lost as a kid on the back of the milk carton.

There are cases where people realize there is something wrong, the warning signs have been heeded and the necessary actions taken. They try to help but their efforts are all in vain, their reached out hand is met with a stiff barrier reluctant to move. Their words fall on deaf ears; to the damaged psyche you come off sounding like Charlie Brown’s teacher. This is not because these people don’t want help, but rather because they don’t feel they are worthy of it, in their minds they are already at the end of their rope. No matter what how hard you tried, nothing got through to them and ultimately still extinguished their flame.

Then sometimes even with the subtle clues and whispered cries for help a person can be blind to the issues at hand and not pay them much mind, they write it off as a bad day or trouble getting over a pothole in the rearview on the road of life. Does this mean they don’t care, of course not, they can’t see the pain and suffering through the overly happy façade of their loved one. Now although this is not done intentionally and/or with hate in their hearts, this is a costly mistake that could come back to haunt them when all is said and done.

In either scenario is this torment deserving and/or warranted, especially in the shadow of a recent loss? It is not, but regrettably it comes with the territory and is an unrelenting burden that the survivor(s) must bear until they learn to cope with the tragedy in a healthy manner. 

If you find yourself in this situation, the one left behind, try not to get angry at the individual who died by suicide because they only did what they thought was right, at least in their eyes it was. Try to understand that it wasn’t you they were trying to get away from; unfortunately in this situation you were just the innocent bystander. They loved you, but the pain was just too much for them to bear. You have now become the victim, the torch has been passed, and if you need help to cope during these trying times, then make sure you get it. This is one situation where a “BOGO” would not be a good thing, not at all.

Do your best to honor their memory, and if possible, to become a champion for their cause. Show the world that their death wasn’t meaningless, trivial or selfish, but rather a travesty and a great loss.

“They have taken their life and left you feeling dead inside.”

Part 5: Hope

“The light at the end of the dark road”

Unfortunately there are people who follow thru and succeed in ending their lives, and then there are others, who by the grace of God make it through these dark times and move forward in a positive direction. Gratefully I am the latter.

I was close to calling an end to my time here on this planet a few times, each time believing it was the only way to correct things and to truly put my mind at ease. I felt like it was the only way to get past the torment and heartache. Thankfully though, I had a great support system and could open up to people to let them know how I felt, which wasn’t easy by any means but necessary for healing.

This may be hard to believe, and even somewhat cliché to say, but there is a way to overcome the barrage of devastating punches life has bestowed upon you without having to throw in the towel. Keep your chin up and do your best to not give up on yourself or your loved ones. We can’t just assume that people know how we feel, especially when we go out of our way to disguise our true feelings (as stated above). We must be able to trust our loved ones with our innermost workings and allow them to help when they can. We can’t be afraid to ask and/or seek help when needed, professional help if applicable.

Believe it or not, it’s perfectly acceptable to admit defeat and to ask for help when you need it. Doing so doesn’t make you any less of a person and/or weak, if anything it takes more courage and strength, so that is something you should take pride in.

I hope and pray the best for everyone, and if you ever need to talk, let me know. I may not be able to solve every problem, but at least I could be an ear willing to listen and/or a shoulder to lean on if need be.

I’m speaking from experience my friends, I know it’s difficult, but you’re worth fighting for and doing whatever is necessary to live a happy and healthy life. When it comes to suicide the quote, “that which does not kill us, makes us stronger” has never been more fitting. Don’t be a statistic, be a survivor!

Truly words to “live” by!

“No matter what side of the coin you're on, there are no winners when it comes to suicide.”

The End (but hopefully not for you)

During this piece I may have said the same thing many times, only in different ways. This was not to be annoying like a steady drip from the faucet falling on metal pans, but more so to drive the point home how import of an issue this is. We are doing a disservice to ourselves as a whole when we disregard it, write it off as nothing all that important and pretend it’s not reality.

Consider this, most stories of people who died by suicide start with shock and disbelief that their loved one could/would do such a thing. There’s not normally a clear cut sign of someone losing control like an airplane going in for a crash landing. There may have been hints along the way, but nothing that would lead you to believe they were considering putting the final nail in their coffin. You won't have many people shouting "I want to die"; most will say they want to live. Don’t be afraid to love now, be afraid to cry later. Remember me now, because once you have to remember me "when", it will be too late then.

When it comes to mental health, screw society and its standards! We must be able to talk about it freely and without the fear of condemnation to be able to help those in need. We are in a very difficult situation when it comes to mental health, and we need to work together to change it for the better or we’ll all be attending more unnecessary funerals. Spread the word! #ChangeYourMindChangeTheirLife

Remember, don't be afraid to peek behind the curtain that is your loved one, look how well it worked out for Dorothy and her merry band of misfits. Read the writing on the wall before you are reading it in a suicide note!

“Bring flowers to someone to show them how special they are to you, not to decorate their grave after they've passed on.”

MJM

This piece is dedicated to the memory of all those who have lost the fight with depression. To those who were overcome by the dreaded beast. To those who felt the only way out was to end it all. May your souls now rest in peace and your hearts hurt no longer.

This piece is also dedicated to those who have loved and lost. To those who have found out that something was wrong way too late. To those who are missing pieces of themselves like an incomplete puzzle. I pray that with time the cross you bear becomes easier to manage, and that the crack in your wall not end with your foundation shattering.

Helpful Links/Numbers:

Depression

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Phone Number: 1-800-273-8255

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - Official Site

Suicide Prevention: How to Help Someone who is Suicidal

“Battlefieldof the Mind”…a great book with lots of helpful practices and techniques to strengthen your mind, spiritual or not, this is a good read.

“Love Thy Neighbor”

I know it sounds cliché, but we really should not look at people for who they are on the outside, but rather who they are on the inside, because that is really what matters.

We need to look past all the hate, all the prejudices and all the other nonsense that keeps us from connecting with each other and truly love thy neighbor, and treat them as we would want to be treated.

We all have our faults and our flaws, none of us are perfect and/or any better than anyone else, regardless of social status and/or the size of our wallets, and to think otherwise would be completely ignorant and very narrow-minded.

No more separation due to the color of our skin, our religion (or lack thereof) and/or any other unnecessary hindrance that prevents us from becoming a family in the true sense of the word.

We must not look past others who are down and out on their luck, who may be in a bad place right now in their life and doing some less than desirable things, because it’s easy to love someone similar to yourself, the tough part is loving someone who you would normally step over on your way to the store.

We must look after the sick, take care of those who aren’t able to take care of themselves, show this world that we aren’t going to let a disease, a handicap and/or any other unfortunate circumstance keep us from showing love, compassion and acceptance for those people.

We must continue the good fight; we must not accept hate as an option, not if we ever hope to leave this planet in a condition worth living in for our kids, their kids, and so on and so forth.

It’s not easy, especially when those said neighbors are different from who we are, when they don’t march to the same beat as we do, but as the saying goes, “anything worth having is worth fighting for” and this couldn’t be more true than when it comes to things such as peace and love.

Let’s make this happen, let’s work together to make this planet and better place for all of us involved.

Don’t be afraid to unclench your fist, to open up your hand, and to extend it to one of your fellow brothers and sisters who share this world with you, you’d be pleasantly surprised with the outcome.

And when all is said and done, if done correctly and without a reluctant heart, this planet and its people will all be better off and living a life truly worth living.

Remember, a hug gets you a lot further than a stranglehold will.

MJM

“Aborting the Hate”

Whether or not abortion is a sin, is between God and the person having the abortion, not any other person and/or book, God inspired or otherwise.

We all have our opinions on the matter, and like spoiled kids who argue over which flavor ice cream to have, we aren’t going to budge and/or see the other’s point of view.

With that said, I personally don’t believe that abortion is an acceptable form of birth control, considering that there are many things a woman, and a man, could do to avoid getting pregnant.

Now that doesn’t mean that I believe every person who has an abortion is using it as such, there are many reasons why someone would feel lead to make that decision, and unless we walked a mile in their shoes, we have no right to assume what their reasons are and/or to pass judgment on them for doing so.

Jesus said, “Love your neighbor as yourself” and in this particular situation these words have fallen on deaf ears, they have been overlooked and ignored many times over.

None of us would want to be judged and/or condemned when we had a difficult decision like this to make, but still we take it upon ourselves to treat others like trash when they are faced with a decision such as this, which is totally unloving and hurtful to say the least.

It saddens me to see people fight so vigorously for the unborn, but then when they are born as a result of their actions, they want nothing more to do with them, and they could care less what the ultimate outcome would be of their life and overall wellbeing.

They curse, they condemn and they make the women who have abortions, or even just considering one, feel like complete garbage, like they belong with the likes of the most heinous murderers this world has ever seen.

You never see people offering solutions, only judgment, which is very unfortunate.

Why don’t these antiabortion people offer to pay for a psychiatrist for the mother who had to carry and deliver a child who may have come to be by some less than desirable means and/or possibly born into an unhealthy environment, but decided to keep the child based on their influence?

Why don’t these same people offer to pay for diapers, formula and other related expense that come with having a child, they say you’re going to hell for having an abortion, but you’ll never see them go to the bank with the purpose of helping out with the expenses of having a child?

The women, who we men are supposed to love, cherish and protect, are tossed aside as if they are nothing more than the cardboard packaging that hold the Cracker Jacks, the box is worthless, we only want the prize inside.

Before damning another to the depths of hell for their actions, or making them feel like less than an equal, take a step back and look upon them with compassion, and unclench your fist of rage and offer an understanding hand.

We men, whether we like it or not, have no rights and/or say-so over a woman’s body, they are free to do as they feel fit, just as we are.

The sooner we realize this, and allow others to live their lives as they so desire, they sooner we can move forward and work to make this planet a better place for all of us involved.

Now of course in an ideal world, this decision would be discussed by both parties involved and an outcome would be reached that benefits all interested parties, but unfortunately that is not always the case and sometimes us men are left out of the decision altogether.

MJM

“Gay, God’s Way”

When it comes to homosexuals there are many beliefs as to how they came to be, they were sexually abused as a child, the environment they grew up in was lacking a strong male/female parental figure or even that there is something wrong with their brains, but never is it just that they were born that way.

The reason for that is because we know that God doesn’t make mistakes, he is an artist and all his works are masterpieces, so if they were in fact born that way it must mean that’s how He wanted them to be, and there is no way that the hateful and/or ignorant people who condemn them want to hear and/or believe that.

We all know it’s not how we are made that makes us evil, but rather what we do with the free will He has blessed us with that determines the kind of person we are, whether that be a person who lives their life for the lord, or a person who lives their life for the sin.

The truth is that they are born that way, they are truly product of the almighty himself, and whether you want to believe it or not there is a reason why he made them the way he did.

In the beginning God wanted his people to be fruitful and multiply, to populate the Earth, but now considering the cesspool our evil ways have created out of this planet, why would he want any more of us running around making things worse.

Take for example all the children in this world that are without love, who have no idea what a heartfelt embrace feels like, who spend all their time wondering why and how come, their lives are full of emptiness and uncertainty.

These children were brought into this world by heterosexual couples who could not, or choose not, to properly provide for them, to take care of them and to be responsible for their well-being and overall welfare.

That is where homosexuals come into play, because who better to care for these children than couples who can’t have kids of their own, but have the desire and compassion to provide for them and to love them the way they deserve to be loved.

Do you really believe that these children would mind if they were accepted into a family with two loving and caring parents who want nothing but the best for that child and those two parents just happen to be of the same sex?

I know some of you more combative Christians, who use the bible as a weapon, would say that the bible says gays are bad, an abomination even, and the sole creation of the devil himself.

With that said, I would remind you that God's plan for us evolves to meet his current needs/desires and that he makes things happen for a reason, like a conductor leading the orchestra, he does things that we may not agree with and/or completely understand but ultimately it is his will.

The bible is not the end, it is only the first book in a series, there is more to come and to think otherwise would be utterly foolish and blatant disrespect to the lord himself.

Some of you may also say that the bible, which is God inspired and man delivered, says differently, but I truly feel as if this piece is God inspired, I feel that he lead me to deliver this message to the people.

This message is not coming from a gay man, I am a straight man who is just trying to keep God’s message of love alive and well.

Feel for me as you will, but just remember hate is hate, and that is not what God is about and/or wants for his people.

MJM

“Love Is My Religion”

The golden rule according to Jesus, "Whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them" which are truly words to live by.

You don’t need a million dollars to change the world, to make it a better planet, a place worth living.

Sometimes a friendly gesture goes a long way, a kind word, a warm smile or even a firm embrace could make a person’s bad day better.

Just because you are not financially wealthy, doesn’t mean that you can’t bless someone else’s life, and leave them feeling like they truly are somebody special and worth their weight in gold.

Let people know how much they mean to you now, don’t wait until they are six feet under to express your love for them.

Celebrate with them while they are still able to participate and appreciate your kind words and/or deeds of love, let them know every chance you get just how important they are to you, and not just on special holidays and/or occasions.

Don’t just limit your love to people you know, people who you are comfortable with, because sometimes the people we can’t stand considerably, are the people who need our love the most.

It is not difficult to love the people who love us back, who treat us right; the real challenge is loving people who have wronged you, who have pained you in one way or another.

We also should not be selfish with our love; we must do our best to make it is not exclusive to friends and family.

Embrace a stranger and don’t be afraid to extend your hand to them, because you never know the impact it may have on them and their overall existence, you could possibly change their life for the better and in turn set off a chain reaction.

You shouldn’t fear human contact; you shouldn’t shy away from connecting with others, don’t hesitate to extend the olive branch of love to others.

Show the world that no matter what color, sex and/or religion a person is, that we are all one in the same, and all deserving of love.

Spread the love, and squash the hate, we all have to live on this planet, so it might as well be as brothers and sisters, and not bitter enemies or total strangers.

MJM